


faded

by Anonymous



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Angst and Smut, Bottom Rand, Consensual Sex, M/M, Top Mat, experimenting with prose n stuff, prose, set during lord of chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: you're faded. your eyes don't shine as brightly as they used to, but fuck if i don't want you.
Relationships: Rand al'Thor/Mat Cauthon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Anonymous





	faded

i'll tell you what you want to hear: that i'll stay with you once we're finished and that we won't leave each other. for a little while i think both of us believe it. i've already prepared us and can make out the faint marks of pink on your skin (so even if we leave each other after this you'll at least have a little reminder of what we had between us) so you nod along with it all.

i blow out the candle. it'll hurt less in the dark, where we can't see each other. but i can still hear you. i can hear your ragged breathing between the low begging as i push in, hear the faint little noises you make when i shift your hips. i can feel your skin - marred with scars and bruises if i trace certain parts of you - warm and slick with sweat beneath my fingers. and i taste you - it is when i bend down and kiss you for what could be the last time in a while. but you're faded. it's still you, but faded. there is something in the dullness of your eyes, usually bright gray. it is in the way you talk. it is in your bones, in your heart. what happened to you?

maybe you're faded. maybe i'm staying with a ghost. but i still want you anyways.

i can feel the blood furrows you rake into my shoulders. it hurts so much (i'm fucking hurting because i know this will end, too) but it still feels so good. i can feel you giving out under me in the way you shake a little when i so much as shift a bit. your legs are wrapped around me and trembling. i'm going to have to let go, going to have to let _you_ go-

i let go.

you still haven't once i pull out, you still cling onto me. you still shake and even when you're still with me you fade. i taste you once again. maybe in better times i'd tease you and make you wait for me but tonight i don't. i don't want to wait too long. so i push your legs apart and move my head down to taste you.

when it's finished i pull myself away from you and draw the covers over us. eventually i will have to rise and leave you, but for now we can dwell a little and pretend like we're home. and with pain in my heart i turn away from you as you fall asleep. i won't be able to stand having to turn around and look at you once i leave.

**Author's Note:**

> experimenting with prose. had fun with this little drabble.


End file.
